you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
