walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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