Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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