At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
