No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
