i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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