Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
