doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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