Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
