It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
