# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
