check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Less talking, more tequila
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.