he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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