I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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