If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
