I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
