I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Come see our sink grown plant.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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