my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books