I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.