we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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