I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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