broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
