My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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