I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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