i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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