Operation Purity has been aborted
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize