she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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