He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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