ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
