maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
