Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Blood and glitter go together right?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
