boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
