I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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