I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize