why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
