mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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