I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
