We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this boner is exhausting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
