i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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