I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
