just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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