There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
