I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
