mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
