Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
