Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
