you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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