Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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