also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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