so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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