her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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