Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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