there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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