you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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