I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
did you just send me my own nude
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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